On burning out, breaking the law, disappearing and cabin fever

I wrote many weird posts in the past. That’s not a deliberate and calculated choice, is just the result of me being me.

This one will probably rank quite high on the “weird scale”.

Let me just start by saying that I’m currently breaking the law. So if you’re a cop, please ignore this post. Thank you.

Like you, I’m supposed to be self isolating and in a sense I’m doing it to the extreme. I’m currently sitting on a rock, behind me there’s just trees, in front of me just grass. The nearest human being is probably a few km from me.

So, from an isolation stand point, I’m doing great. That said, the law says I should stay in a 500m radius from my home.

I left that 500m radius probably 5km ago. That’s me breaking the law. I guess I’m a fugitive. I quite like that.

This isolation and overall situation is slowly grinding me. It probably forced me to accept the fact that I am in fact burning out. I just ignored all the symptoms up until now. So in a sense I should be grateful for this. At least now I’m aware of that.

At the same time, cabin fever is definitely kicking in. I tried to stay inside as much as possible to help with the current situation but I guess I reached the limit.

You don’t really know how much you need something until it’s taken away from you. That something for me is apparently walking around mindlessly.

I just walked for a couple of hours and I feel great. The sun is setting in front of me, the wind is blowing through the trees and birds are enjoying the spring.

Life without “all the rest” is great. Once you remove the work, money, clients, responsibilities, rent, bills, projects, dreams and everything else, life is actually fucking amazing.

It’s just hard to notice it.